Who are The Coprolites^®?

The Coprolites^® are not an ethnic group like the Hittites, Canaanites, or Semites — although we go way back in history. We're not a religious group like the Mennonites, Carmelites, or Shiites — although we've produced many powerful church leaders.

No, Coprolite is actually a sort of mineral. It's a substance that usually doesn't get much respect, but scientists often find it fascinating to study. Well, our people also receive little respect but have a lot to teach others. That's why we've taken this mineral as our symbol.

Coprolite is fossilized old poop.

Our people are the fossilized old poops of the world. Just think how much of human history has been written by fossilized old poops. Our people have passed the important laws, led the big corporations, run the mighty governments. We deserve a lot more credit than we get for the way things are in the world today.

You can buy the mineral known as Coprolite in many rock shops. Some specimens, although turned to stone, look like something a dog might have left on your lawn just yesterday. That's not the kind we use as our symbol. We prefer beautiful tumbled and polished pieces of multi-colored Coprolite. These specimens were left by dinosaurs millions of years ago. That just seems so appropriate, since our people already are associated with dinosaurs for some reason.

When you officially join the Coprolites, you receive a sample of this "Jurassic Classic" polished Coprolite nestled in a velveteen bag. Think of it as one dinosaur reaching out in fellowship to another across the ages. You'll also receive a personalized framed certificate proclaiming your membership, as well as a booklet explaining the importance and high status of our group. Finally, you'll be able to order a wide variety of custom embroidered wearables to help you show your Coprolite pride.

Strangely enough, most of us don't even realize that we're Coprolites until someone else points it out. That's why our members seldom join on their own. A friend or relative signs them up, often to recognize a big birthday. The number of years doesn't really matter. People can achieve Fossilized Old Poophood at almost any age.

If you're curious to know whether you (or a friend of yours) may qualify to be a member of this distinguished group, find out by reading How can I tell if I'm a Coprolite?